That Sunday Night

    It was a Sunday night in March, the first one perhaps. We didn't have to go to Grandma's so my sister and I got in our pjs early. I always looked forward to Sunday night because Extreme Home Makeover was on. I was thirteen and I though someday I was going to be an architect... and marry Ty Pennington. 

    We were in the basement getting ready to watch when our parents came downstairs. I felt the tension shift immediately. Even thinking about it now the weight of my heart feel apparent in my chest. It's all my mother can do to not start crying before she sits down. 

     I feel it coming. I hadn't any day or moment prior but now I feel exactly what it going to happen tonight. Yet I brace myself for different words anyway.

     My dad is the one to deliver the news. He tells us this doesn't change anything, and it isn't our fault, and they still love each other. But it was time for them to separate.

     Mom sobs through everything. I'm not sure my face holds any emotion at all. My little sister begins to cry too. I always hate that.  I hate when people make her cry. In non life changing situations, she is always the stoic one or even laughing at the sad part in movies. On movie night it wasn't uncommon for her and Dad to watch Lord of the Rings together while me and Mom watch Ever After for the hundredth time and still tear up. 

     At some point I get up from the couch, dropping my blanket, and avoiding eye contact. I go up the the stairs into the kitchen, down the hall, and up the next flight of stairs. At the top I lay down in the hallway where I finally begin to cry. I worry someone will come after me but no one does. When Popop died I ran to my room and hugged Patty the stuffed pig until I couldn't cry anymore. That was four years ago and it didn't feel like Patty could help this time. 

     After I collected myself I went back downstairs. No one else was crying either. Dad said he had something he wanted to show us. He had excitement in his voice and it cut through my like a blade. He went to the desktop computer and pull up a website. This is the house I'll be getting, I put an offer on it just the other day. You two will share a room but it has a basement and a loft, and a deck! 

     I glance over his shoulder and go back to sit on the couch. He pulls my sister into his lap. I'm frustrated that he thinks this will help in anyway and upset that it's already gone so far as to buy another house. This isn't what I wanted to know, that everything about this situation is so far out of my hands. I don't want another house or another room. All I want is for things to go back to how they were just an hour ago. I want to stop time from moving forward and changing everything as it goes. I want to scream at my parents that love means you stay together even if it's hard, so don't say you still love each other. Don't say you've tried to work it out, because if you had I might have seen this coming, even just a little bit.